How To Stop Revenge Destroying Your Positivity

This is the second of three articles about how to prevent your “positivity” from being destroyed. Today, we will look at the next destroyer of “positivity”, revenge.

Revenge as a Poison of “Positivity”

The Chinese put it best when they say that if someone pursues revenge he or she should dig two graves. Here is a simple truth. Taking revenge requires you to be in a hateful state of mind. You are in danger of taking the pure-bread high-morale standards that you live by and butter it up with a harmful spread.

The pursuit of revenge can poison you to the point where you lose your dignity. You would have scarred your moral compass so badly that you become permanently lost in a waste-dump of bitterness. That is exactly where toxic people such as narcissistic sociopaths want to put you, and keep you.

Whether you are an atheist or a religious person, leave revenge to the divine. Bad people will eventually get their comeuppances whether through God (if that is your belief) or the Devine (if that is a more comfortable mindset). This is so important that I’ll repeat it again! Do not try to take it upon yourself to dish out vengeance; the biggest loser will be you. It is not worth it! Forget your pride! Yes, you can say NO to revenge!

A Revenge Campaign That Backfired Tragically

This is what Diane from the United Kingdom had to say about revenge:

“My husband and I had a fundamental disagreement. Everything in my morale-fibre and Christian upbringing knew he was right about the stance he took. The reality though is that I was afraid to do the right thing. It involved my uncle who could do nothing wrong in my eyes. My parent died when I was 7, so my uncle more or less became my dad. He absolutely hated my husband. All of my family knew about it! My husband knew it too and was absolutely not prepared to accept his abuse and manipulations anymore.

I resented the stand my husband took and decided to exact revenge on him. I started by telling work colleagues, many of whom my husband knew, he was dreadful. I even started to make up lies about things my husband said about them because I wanted to isolate him in every possible way. I knew I could manipulate the situation easily – I was going to make him pay for standing up to my uncle. I wanted to humiliate him! I wanted to strip him of every once of dignity he had.

To crush him further, I started playing mind games to make him believe I was having affairs. In fact, my uncle subtly made it possible by making his home available to achieve this goal. I wanted to leave enough subtle trails where my husband can only suspect, but he could not say a word. No one that I cared about would believe him. They would believe me instead. I pushed my husband to the point where he had a mental break down. He died three months later. To this day I never forgave myself for this. The honest truth is that I really did love my husband, but I adored my uncle more. I was too afraid of my uncle to do anything about it.

Soon after my husband’s death, my uncle began to be really horrible towards me, even violent at times. He manipulated me into relationships designed to enrich his selfish needs.

The biggest humble-pie I had to eat was my husband’s continuous warning before his death. He told me if I did not have the courage to say no to wrong things it would destroy me eventually. He was spot on! As you could imagine, I ridiculed him and laughed in his face when he warned me.

As I say this tearfully, and with deep regret, revenge destroyed my life. I destroyed a kind, loving and innocent man, and brought great pain to his family, from a narcissistic sociopath – my uncle. I am now a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. Alcohol and drugs became my solace in soothing my guilty conscience. To make matters worse, I had kidney failure, now on a dialysis machine, and very much on my own.”


Revenge, justified or not, does not pay!” Diane’s story is a tragic reality of how good people’s lives can be ruined unnecessarily when revenge is pursued. If you are wronged then swallow your pride and let it go! Except, of course, if you are violently attacked or threatened then get the police involved. Bad people, especially toxic ones, hate to see you positive, happy, or successful. Don’t worry; their day of comeuppance will come. Cast your mind back to a critical point made in the first positivity article of this series – love what is right, and hate what is wrong. Say no to “Revenge”! Revenge kills your positivity and will eventually destroy you.

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